Wanna Know What's Weighing Down the Big 3?

Such a lovely site that it no doubt sends chills of joy down the spine of every member of the United Auto Workers--22 pounds and 5,000 pages of their contract with Ford in 2007.

GM and Chrysler got similar packages--and all three now have big problems!

Update: CBS Nightly News “gained access” to the Ford contract. Here’s the video.

Cash-Starved States Embrace Fashion Statement

Lindsay Lohan is now coming to the aid of cash-starved states and municipalities by making a fashion statement out of wearing an alcohol-detecting ankle bracelet. The device reads alcohol consumption through the sweat, but Ms. Lohan has no problem incorporating the anklet into her life-style, even to the point of showing it off while sipping a Red Bull at a Las Vegas nightclub.

(For the record, Ms. Lohan was arrested on DUI and possession of cocaine charges and underwent posh rehabiliation in Malibu. Upon release, she had the alcohol monitor added to her wardrobe. You and I would still be in jail.)

The reason states are rejoicing over her new fashion mugging (the paparazzi are always nearby) concerns their budgets. One way to cut the budget is to release prisoners early, and doing so often involves assigning a GPS-tracking ankle monitor to the releasee.

Then, of course, you have the PR nightmare of explaining to the good folk of your city or state that they are now less safe.

Cheaper than providing a convict three squares and a bed each day, so look for new crime in your neighborhood soon.

EEOC Flouts FLSA, Makes Employees Sick

Turns out that the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) borrowed a page out of the private sector and reclassified employees as exempt when they should've remained non-exempt employees eligible for overtime pay--a clear violation of the Fair Labor Standards Act (FLSA).

Affected employees didn't like being awarded comp time instead of time-and-a-half and filed a complaint; an arbitrator has just ruled in their favor. EEOC Chairman Stuart J. Ishimaru mumbled something about employees' working too many flexible schedules and promised to look into matters. I didn't read anything about back pay's being awarded, however.

Meanwhile, the EEOC recently relocated to a new building in an area north of Union Station that isn't as, well, developed as the old location, and employees are sick over the move--literally.

Seems that the new building has a formaldehyde leakage problem, and it's causing people headaches, dizziness, nausea, coughing and breathing problems. Tests show that the level of formaldehyde is well below OSHA standards, so maybe it's the lack of trendy restaurants in the area that's really causing the problems.

Nothing that a good, long lunch on comp time couldn't remedy.

Happy Outcome for Laid-Off Republic Workers

Most everyone is familiar with the saga of the workers at Republic Windows and Doors, who at holiday time in late 2008 were laid off with little notice. However, they refused to leave the premises and staged a sit-down until owner Richard Gillman, backed by a loan from Bank of America, paid them all monies owed from vacation and WARN Act 60 days' pay (WARN basically requires a company to give 60 days' advanced warning of mass layoffs or plant closings).

Even with their victory, the workers faced a bleak economy, with scant prospects of getting hired to do what they knew how to do. In stepped a White Knight, however.

This past month California-based Serious Materials bought the Chicago factory and is in the process of reopening it. The new owners have reached an agreement with UE Local 1110 to rehire all former Republic workers at their former rate of pay and allow the union to continue representing them.

Serious will be manufacturing super-insulated windows that are approved under the federal Energy Star program for their efficiency.

Now, this is one happy tale is this world of bad economic news. Christmas came late for these workers. It must feel nice.

Recession, European-Style: More Time Off

I'm beginning to think this recession, depression, or whatever it is, is going to make Eurosocialists out of all of us, even me who was bred on free market capitalism (and often victimized by it too).

There's a great discussion forum on the New York Times online blog that highlights the differences in approaches across the pond. The Germans seem to really have it made, social safety net-wise, while the French just seem to enjoy the joie of being lazy.

Problem is, we could adopt the Eurosocialist approach of paying people not to work, or to work less, and gut our (and the world's only) global police force, and we could all be realxing at home right now with the government's covering our lost wages.

But then how could we as bosses and employers get rid of the riff-raff and n'er-do-wells when recessions provide us the golden opportunity? Such a quandary: Would I rather say permanent goodbye to a jerk or two (or more) or spend some more time with my wife and dogs?

There is a genius to the harsh, cruel world of American capitalism, I must confess.

(If you visit the NYT page, tell me--doesn't that guy at the top look like your typical ugly American, though the photo is credited to Agence France Presse?)

None Dare Call These 'The Friendly Skies'

Spirit Airlines will fly you for as little as $9 each way, provided you don't mind paying extra for choosing your own seat ($9-$20), checking in a piece of baggage ($100 for the third one), or drinking water while in the air (priceless).

And if you work for Spirit at its Miramar, Fla., low-rent headquarters, you'll be expected to clean your own space, empty your own trash, and vacuum around you. Even CEO Ben Baldanza keeps his own Oreck at work to clean his office floor (at least he has an office, eh?). He brought the Oreck from home and replaced it with a Dyson.

Spirit has attitude too. Consider this now-infamous TV commercial: A younger man is lying in bed with an older woman (pictured) talking to his friend on the phone.

He: "Dude, there's no way your mom is cheating on your dad."

She: "That wasn't Jay, was it?"

He: "Yeah, that was your son. Don’t worry, he’s not going to find out."

Voiceover: "You think that’s low? Spirit Airlines fares are even lower."

Fox commentator Bill O'Reilly (after viewing the ad): "Maybe we are living in Sodom and Gomorrah, and I just haven’t seen the sign change."

More infamous perhaps even than this TV spot was an e-mail that Baldanza wrote about a customer's complaint that leaked to the blogosphere:

"We owe him nothing as far as I’m concerned," Baldanza wrote in his response about a customer's complaining about a flight cancellation. "Let him tell the world how bad we are. He’s never flown us before anyway and will be back when we save him a penny."

So if you want to travel cheap and let the airline assign your seat, and you can forego baggage, food and water--and endure verbal abuse for your complaints--Spirit is all for you.