'Deathfest' Convenes Reps of Fastest-Dying Cities

There was no joy in Mudville, or most of Ohio, in 2008 when Forbes magazine ran an article to out "America's Fasting-Dying Cities."

But representatives from the ten named cities are meeting this week in Dayton, Ohio (one of the ten), for a symposium on "Ten Living Cities." Skeptics are calling it (more accurately, no doubt) a "Deathfest."

What got the cities on the list was a flight of jobs joined by a flight of residents, all resulting in cities decaying both physically and economically.

Four of the ten are in Ohio--Cleveland, Dayton, Canton and Youngstown--and two in Michigan--Detroit and Flint. The others are Scranton, Pa.; Springfield, Mass.; Buffalo, N.Y.; and Charleston, W.Va.

As usual, local observers were able to cut to the quick of the matter in rapid order.

Said student Joe Sack, 22: "It's like a gambling addict [trying] to help an alcoholic. It's hard to see what they can learn from each other."

I'll drink to that.

Nepal Will Pay You to Marry a Widow

Now here's a stimulus plan Obama might consider copying with a variation or two.

Nepal recently passed a law to pay men a $650 bounty to marry one of the country's many widows (what's killing off their husbands?).

Women, especially widows, didn't like the measure too much and took to the streets of the capital of Kathmandu (I love that name) to protest. Protestors carried signs that read, "You can't sell your mother" and "We don't want government dowries."

Rightfully sensing that the payment scheme would turn the men into rats who'd take the money and run after marrying them, the widows instead demanded jobs, education and health care.

A sensible demand, I'd say.

However, we could easily apply this idea to the U.S. and pay working men and women to marry unemployed men and women (I'm speaking only of heterosexual unions here, but in some states, same-sex could be subject to the subsidy as well).

Or how about a subsidy to marry the unmarriable (or is it un-marry-able?).

Now, let's stretch it a bit more: If you can trade in clunkers for cash, how about unwanted spouses for cash?

That last one gets my vote.