Boss, I Need an Accommodation for My Sex Life

I was doing some research on the new Americans With Disabilities Amendments Act (ADAAA) the other day and concluded that it's really open to wide-ranging interpretation--and abuse.

Under the original Americans With Disabilities (ADA) Act of 1990, the definition of disability hinged--as it still does in the ADAAA--on the definition of "substantially limits a major life activity." The courts, however, kept whittling down these qualifying life activities to the point at which Congress felt the ADA had been gutted, so it authored the ADAAA in 2008. The law took effect Jan. 1, 2009.

The ADAAA seeks to restore the open nature of "major life activity" and lists a whole slew of such activities, including walking, sleeping, thinking, concentrating, and so on. It then adds a new category, "operation of major bodily functions," to the list. Within this category are things like digestion, respiration, bowel movements and etc. The last one, "reproductive functions," really got me thinking.

Could a guy having trouble scoring with women claim a disability under this category?

"Boss, I haven't had any in months. I think my work is interfering with my reproductive functions."

Boss: "Say what?"

"You know, I need a reasonable accommodation for my sex life."

"And what would that be?"

"Let's start with telecommuting."

"But you're a stock room handler."

"Then hire some babes to work with me and give us a long lunch break."

"Right. Tell ya what, Joe. Stop by my office later, and I'll give you a reasonable accommodation with a generous severance package."

"You'll be hearing from my lawyer."

Would Joe prevail in his lawsuit? My guess is not, but anything can happen in court these days. It would be fun to find out at any rate.